This is a pet peeve of mine just like the schemes some guys and girls try to get thier lover to break up with them. However it still goes on again and again with phones, text messages and now with so much communication online it gets even worse.
Breaking up over twitter is probably the lowest but any social network or email is just as bad as texting and is below the phone call ... at least with a phone call you can actually have a conversation however scary and emotional it may seem.
This goes back the the fear of the break up, the fear of confrontation, the fear of having to look them in the eye and reveal to them that you do not love them any more. I understand, this is hard, i have been through the same angst myself but the thought of revealing this in a cold distant way was even worse.
The only time i see this as acceptable if is your lover is prone to VIOLENT outbursts and abuse. However most relationships are not like that, most are not scared of a fist but of the crying, the puppy dog eyes and the question that disarms so many people when it should be the thing you know the most ... WHY.
So anyway ... please please please when figuring out how to dump your girlfriend or how to dump your boyfriend do not take the cowards way out. This does not actually help you, it just delays the drama or puts it into a different form and everyone will think you are weak and a total jerk for what you have done.
Take the higher path and the outcomes for your are better ... just get over the fear. This guide can help you do that.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Should You Dump Your Lover?
I just realized I went straight into that last post before we discussed the all important question of if you SHOULD dump your lover which is something you need to know in depth before you learn the best ways on how to dump your boyfriend or girlfriend.
I am a big supporter of breaking up a relationship if it really is not working. If you are not married yet and do not have kids this is the time to make sure the person you are with is the one right for you and if they are not ... why are you wasting each other time?
On the other hand a troubled relationship is not always worth ditching if it can be fixed.
You need to be well aware of the problems that exist in your relationship as well as your goals in life and a keen understanding of your partner. Some questions to ask yourself:
Another resource to help you decide is to download this ebook called 1001 questions for couples which a friend of mine used to decide if he should move on or if this person was worth fighting for. They are now married but before that he was almost out the door!
So before you ask how do i break up with my girlfriend or boyfriend make sure you know this is the right decision in your heart and mind. If you have already doen this then click below for further information ...
I am a big supporter of breaking up a relationship if it really is not working. If you are not married yet and do not have kids this is the time to make sure the person you are with is the one right for you and if they are not ... why are you wasting each other time?
On the other hand a troubled relationship is not always worth ditching if it can be fixed.
You need to be well aware of the problems that exist in your relationship as well as your goals in life and a keen understanding of your partner. Some questions to ask yourself:
- Am i doing this out of anger, spite or resentment?
- What do i really want in a partner?
- What were the good times we had?
- What were the bad times we had?
- Have we resolved conflict and problems before?
- What would i do without them?
Another resource to help you decide is to download this ebook called 1001 questions for couples which a friend of mine used to decide if he should move on or if this person was worth fighting for. They are now married but before that he was almost out the door!
So before you ask how do i break up with my girlfriend or boyfriend make sure you know this is the right decision in your heart and mind. If you have already doen this then click below for further information ...
Should You Get Your Lover to Leave YOU?
This is something i have seen a lot and talked about a lot. Someone who does not know how to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend comes across the genius idea to somehow manipulate the situation so that THEY dump YOU. Does this work? Is this the perfect crime?
In my experience this has NEVER worked. Often the entire scheme comes undone at the first hiccup revealing the entire thing in a messy tell all session ending with an ugly break up OR a new commitment to the relationship they were trying to get out of out of guilt!
Other problems include not breaking up but creating an even more damaged relationship making it an even worse break up when it comes or the very few that actually do work and the scheme somehow comes to fruition and they leave you ... then they find out about the plot later just delaying the drama and making you look like a total JERK.
How to dump your girlfriend or boyfriend is as much about you and the way you conduct yourself as it is about your lover and why you want to break up in the first place. Trying to get THEM to dump you is a cowards way out ... you are scared to actually confront and end the relationship or you are worried about what the world may think of you for doing it.
The first rule on how to leave your girlfriend or boyfriend is to have the courage to do so and the respect for yourself and your lover to do it face to face with honesty.
This does mean you have to simply blurt it out or lay down a list of reasons you now think they are a bad lover no no NO! There are many ways you can use psychology and knowledge of yourself and your lover to steer the break up in the best direction leaving you both emotionally free ... click below to find out mroe about these techniques and how to wield that power.
In my experience this has NEVER worked. Often the entire scheme comes undone at the first hiccup revealing the entire thing in a messy tell all session ending with an ugly break up OR a new commitment to the relationship they were trying to get out of out of guilt!
Other problems include not breaking up but creating an even more damaged relationship making it an even worse break up when it comes or the very few that actually do work and the scheme somehow comes to fruition and they leave you ... then they find out about the plot later just delaying the drama and making you look like a total JERK.
How to dump your girlfriend or boyfriend is as much about you and the way you conduct yourself as it is about your lover and why you want to break up in the first place. Trying to get THEM to dump you is a cowards way out ... you are scared to actually confront and end the relationship or you are worried about what the world may think of you for doing it.
The first rule on how to leave your girlfriend or boyfriend is to have the courage to do so and the respect for yourself and your lover to do it face to face with honesty.
This does mean you have to simply blurt it out or lay down a list of reasons you now think they are a bad lover no no NO! There are many ways you can use psychology and knowledge of yourself and your lover to steer the break up in the best direction leaving you both emotionally free ... click below to find out mroe about these techniques and how to wield that power.
Welcome to the Break Up Guru!
Break ups suck.
It sucks to be dumped of course but there is information all over the place on dealing with that! Half the music industry seems to be all about break up songs giving those dumped badly a way to deal with the emotional turmoil.
However not many people think about the other side, the person doing the dumping and what they might be feeling. Typically this is because people think the dumper is the bad guy/girl every time when usually this is not the case ... but people tend to sympathize with the dumped more.
So to give a little perspective on this matter i have set this blog up to discuss these things and also to give information to people finding it hard to dump their boyfriend or girlfriend because of the stigma associated with it and because most of the time they still care about these people and want to break up well instead of disastrously!
So if you are stuck in a dead end relationship and you know it has to end i hope this blog will give you some good tips on how to handle the whole process so you come out looking like a saint and can live and love again without guilt and a messy break up haunting you!
It sucks to be dumped of course but there is information all over the place on dealing with that! Half the music industry seems to be all about break up songs giving those dumped badly a way to deal with the emotional turmoil.
However not many people think about the other side, the person doing the dumping and what they might be feeling. Typically this is because people think the dumper is the bad guy/girl every time when usually this is not the case ... but people tend to sympathize with the dumped more.
So to give a little perspective on this matter i have set this blog up to discuss these things and also to give information to people finding it hard to dump their boyfriend or girlfriend because of the stigma associated with it and because most of the time they still care about these people and want to break up well instead of disastrously!
So if you are stuck in a dead end relationship and you know it has to end i hope this blog will give you some good tips on how to handle the whole process so you come out looking like a saint and can live and love again without guilt and a messy break up haunting you!
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